Lewis Capaldihas acknowledged that he had no intention of performing again after leaving two years ago.
The 28-year-old singer came back after a long breakat Glastonbury last month, two years after choosing to step back from the public eye following a heartfelt and difficult performance at Worthy Farm.
He unexpectedly showed up at this year's event and has been active sincerevealed a UK tour schedule for later this year, but there was a genuine transformation he wasn't going to return.
Chatting with one of his closest friends to celebrate his new collaboration with the BetterHelp online therapy service, Lewis referred to the 2023 event as 'literally the worst moment' of his life.
The singer of "Someone You Love" said: “It was a huge, huge, massive event. By the second song, I was probably just thinking, 'This has to... I can't keep doing this to myself and others anymore.”
People were attending concerts, and I thought, 'That's not the way you should be watching a performance.' From my perspective, I said, 'I'm done for good.'
Rather than 'living in the moment,' the Scottish star - whoreached the top of the UK singles chartlast week with the return single Survive – was 'catastrophising'.
Now, he has spoken about how therapy has been a "major factor" in his ability to return to music two years later.
When asked how he arrived at a stage where he felt improved, the Grammy-nominated musician revealed that he had been "lying" to his therapist and "saying what I thought they wanted to hear."
Although Lewis 'struggles' with therapy and doesn't 'have a good time', he always realizes he'll 'feel great afterward'.
"Occasionally, it can be quite challenging, but I believe I keep going because I understand how crucial it is for me to maintain a good feeling, as I've experienced the best I've felt in a long time through therapy; I would say that has been the key factor in how I feel now," he explained.
He emphasized that it's not a 'quick solution,' and he has also come to embrace the fact that being 'an anxious person' is an integral part of his identity.
It's regarding how I deal with anxiety and many aspects of my life,' he stated. 'I have failed to take care of myself in the past, both mentally and physically, and I have made commitments to myself that I haven't fulfilled.
I believe for me, it's about acknowledging that this issue will always be present, and it's more about how I deal with it, the actions I take to stay at a basic level.
Through his latest initiative with BetterHelp, Lewis is assisting the organization in distributing 734,000 hours of free counseling — a substantial figure.
It's 1,000 hours for each day I've had, well, since I last performed on stage," he shared. "I feel that if I can be involved in sharing that with others, why not?